Ranking the Episodes

My Top 13 (a good number for a scary show)

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14. The Devil's Platform B
#15. The Sentry B-
#16. Demon in Lace B-
#17. The Vampire C+
#18. The Energy Eater C+
#19. Primal Scream C+
#20. Legacy of Terror C
#21. They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... C
#22. The Youth Killer C-

The Sentry

Air Date: 3/28/75
Writer: L. Ford Neale, John Huff
Director: Seymour Robbie
Actors: 
Frank Campanella as Ted Chapman / John Hoyt as Dr. Beckwith / Kathie Browne as Lt. Irene Lumont / Tom Bosley as Jack Flaherty / Albert Paulsen as Dr. James Verhyden / Margaret Avery as Ruth Van Galen / Lew Brown as First Detective / Bill Deiz as Second Reporter / George Finley as Dr. Phillips / Frank Marth as Colonel Brody / Tom Moses as Dr. Gordon / Cliff Norton as Arnie Wisemore / Keith Walker as First Reporter / Kelly Wilder as Receptionist / Paul Baxley as Lawrence Earl Coogan / Craig R. Baxley as the Creature / Andrew Robinson as Shipping Clerk / Uncredited actor as Howard Kipler

Memorable Line:
Vincezo: "Carl, Carl! I don't want to hear anymore about that giant newt!"

Story:
The government attempts to hide a series of mysterious deaths at an underground storage facility

Review:
Kolchak ends with a straightforward creature feature that acts as an ode to Sci-Fi’s past (The story recalls a few from the original Star Trek) as well as a nod to its future (The Government conspiracies of the X-Files). While there’s humor, it focuses more on the terror and cover-up.

Yes, it’s a flawed production, with a thin story that is padded out with unedited shots of people walking to their destinations or riding carts through halls. The cinematography is grainy. The lizard suit - which looks like a sports team mascot with its laughably oversized head-  was wisely kept in the dark for the most part. They do try and get clever with that by making the creature photophobic, and there are a couple of goosebump-inducing scenes where it destroys the lights as it draws closer to its prey.

Performances are at times out-and-out hammy, the comedic delivery exaggerated, silly. Some speculate that the unhappy McGavin came off rather bored. I don't see it. Oh, he might have been sick of it all but he was also enough of a pro that he puts in an effort and manages some good reaction shots, especially in dealing with the cop of the week.

Speaking of which… I appreciate the fact that in the past few shows the writers have moved beyond the screaming Captains and explored a few new personality types. To this end, we have Lt. Irene Lamont, played by Kathie Browne, the real-life wife of Mr. McGavin. She's got everyone wrapped around her finger, but Kolchak doesn't buy it, and it's amusing watching him roll his eyes as his fellow newshounds fawn all over her. (Oh, and I love the name she gives Carl's car).

Sentry is not a critical darling, and I agree it's far from perfect. But it does have its B-movie style charms and has become a bit of a guilty pleasure among certain fans. And I number myself among them. I enjoy this in the same way I enjoy the Giant Claw or Corman’s Attack of the Crab Monsters. It’s a cheesy good time, with some nice claustrophobic elements and a good opening scene... with the camera following an unnerved Kolchak who announces, "It's after me"

Grade: B-

The Youth Killer

Air Date: 3/14/75
Writer: Rudolph Borchert
Director: Don McDougall
Actors: 
Cathy Lee Crosby as Helen of Troy / Dwayne Hickman Sergeant J. Orkin / George Savalas as Kaz Kazantarkis / Kathleen Freeman as Bella Sarkof / Eddie Firestone as Obnoxious Conventioneer / James Murtaugh as Landlord / Michael Richardson as Lance Mervin (aka Irvin) / Penny Stanton as Lance's Mother / James Ingersoll as First Young Man / Reb Brown as Second Young Man / John Fiedler as Gordy "The Ghoul" Spangler / Joss White as Secretary / Unknown, uncredited actors as William Cubby, Cynthia Tibbs and Rene Michelle.

Memorable Line:
Kolchak: "I love flukes! I've written some of my best stories about flukes"

Story:
Young, dating service patrons begin dying of old age.

Review:
Carl takes on Greek Gods and meets up with Helen of Troy in this weakish satire on our youth and beauty-geared culture.

The scenes that highlight the rapid aging of the vibrant victims, is effective and chilling. But overall the story lacks punch. Probably because the villain played by Cathy Lee Crosby, doesn't have a commanding or threatening presence. She has some impressive backing from up on high, but Helen herself is a whispery shell (and seriously, she couldn't tell one of her sacrifices had a glass eye?)

Good casting otherwise: Dewayne Hicks (Dobie Gillis) plays a fresh new Captain who quickly learns why everyone gets so annoyed with Carl (Then again, why not check the prints, wouldn't hurt?). George Savalas (Credited as Demothenes) is the cabby who schools Carl on Greek myths, and there was Reb Brown (Captain America, MST3Ks "Space Mutiny") in an early, small role.

On the comedic side of it, big laughs came from Vincenzo and Kolchak, both inadvertently offending Miss Emily.

I don’t hate anything from this show. There’s always something to enjoy even in a lesser episode, even in this lesser episode... like the cool idea of the rings marking those who are doomed -- and that Carl puts on one and can't get it off. Though I wonder if the Gods were angry about the glass eye screw up, or that Helen was going to offer them a 'not so perfect' physical specimen named Carl Kolchak.

Grade: C-

The Knightly Murders

Air Date: 3/7/75
Writer: David Chase, Michael Kozoll
Director: Vincent McEveety
Story: Paul Magistretti
Actors: 
John Dehner as Captain Vernon Rausch / Hans Conried as Mendel Boggs / Shug Fisher as Pop Stenvold / Robert Emhardt as Roger, Coat of Arms dealer / Jeff Donnell as Maura / Don Carter as Lester Nash / Sidney Clute as Bruce Krause / Lieux Dressler as Minerva Musso / Jim Drum as Leo J. Ramutka / Alyscia Maxwell as Freshman Reporter / Ed McCready as First Reporter / Bryan O'Byrne Charles Johnson the Butler / William O'Connell as Brewster Hawking / Gregg Palmer as Sergeant Buxbaum / Paul Baxley as Ralf Danvers

Memorable Line:
Kolchak: "What is important is that it takes 420 pounds pressure - P.S.I. - to crush a telephone. Now, it says right here that a medieval knight in full armor and full weaponry weighs well over 400 pounds!"

Vincenzo: "Oh I feel much better, all my life I wanted to know that a Medieval Knight could crush a telephone."

Story:
A Black Knight kills to prevent the building of a disco on his death site.

Review:
As goofy as the premise sounds, this episode actually has lots of thrills. And as goofy as the premise would suggest. It's a laugh riot. Arguably the funniest episode in the series.

Comedic guests include John Dehner, as the legendary Captain Rausch, who not only is a phony living on past glories but has lost a bit of his mind. This is the best Captain/Kolchak interplay since Keenan Wynn's part in "Spanish Moss". And what's good about it is that it doesn't follow the usual pattern of 'full out shouting match'. Another inspired turn was casting Hans Conried. He too shares some colorful moments with Carl. In addition, there's Shug Fisher (From the B movie "Giant Gila Monster") as Pops. His cameo, as a store owner who wants Carl to write his memoirs in exchange for information, was a kick.

The scenes between Vincenzo and Kolchak are chock full o' their classic banter. Poor Tony, he thinks Carl has really gone off the deep end - and his expressed concern is a nice layer of character development that's well-acted by Oakland

As hinted at earlier, in the fright department the Knight is an effective and impressive foe. Looming large and frighteningly relentless, the best scene comes when it takes battle-ax in hand and crashes through several doors to reach its prey. Pushing Carl (who was bravely trying to save a victim) aside like a rag doll

If there is a frustrating aspect to the story, it's that the cops cast aside Carl's idea that a Knight, or some nut dressed as a Knight, is doing this. Even if they can't buy the supernatural aspects (and in a wonderful moment with Vincenzo, Tony tries to reason this out with his reporter) they can clearly see that medieval weaponry is being used. The door was obviously shredded by a very sharp, heavy object.

Though the end battle is too short, it was cool watching Carl struggling to wield the enormous, blessed ax (which is the only thing to have ever defeated his armored foe). It puts into perspective just how strong this Knight is.

Grade: A

Legacy of Terror

Air Date: 2/14/75
Writer: Arthur Rowe
Director: Don McDougall
Actors: 
Erik Estrada as Pepe Torres / Mickey Gilbert as Nanautzin, the Mummy / Ramon Bieri as Captain Webster / Sorrell Booke as Mr. Eddy / Alma Beltran as Mrs. Torres / Victor Campos as Professor Jamie Rodriguez / Robert Casper as Professor Jones / Sondra Currie as Vicky / Scott Douglas as Major Taylor / Pitt Herbert as Medical Examiner / Gene LeBell as Officer Olson / Ernest Macias as Andrew Gomez / Udana Power as Captain Madge Timmins / Carlos Romero as George Andrews / Merrie Lynn Ross as Nina / Pippa Scott as Tillie Mones / Ron Stein as Officer Smith / Dorrie Thomson as Lona / Mina Vasquez as Rita Torres / Craig R. Baxley as Rolf Anderson / Robert Clarke as Detective in Stairwell / Cal Bartlett as Officer Lyons

Memorable Line:
Paramedic: "You look like you got a concussion, I think we're gonna need some X-Rays on that"
Kolchak: "Nooo X-rays, Nooo pictures; I got things in there I don't want seen..."

Story:
An Aztec cult makes sacrifices to its God, in preparation for the next millennium.

Review:
Not a complete train wreck but kind of flat. It didn't really get under my skin. And some of the attacks by the Aztec cult were silly, (in one early assault, the chicken creature moves back and forth like a character from a Dr. Tongue movie)

On the plus side of the ledger, Carl's investigative skills are at their peak, the legends he susses out are complex and different. Giving an interesting twist to the Mummy stories.

The humorous scenes are a gas as well. Vincenzo busting up Carl's bellboy cover was very funny, and Kolchak’s recorder gradually creeping into a scene put tears in my eyes.

Despite these pluses, which would indicate the telling of a compelling, fun story, the sum total is lackluster. Whether it's because the co-stars don't bring much life to the party (Estrada's okay but not dynamic) or the complexities of the legend actually bog things down (too much thinking, not enough scares?). Whatever the reasons, there's at least enough to give it a passing grade, not enough to elevate it to the upper echelon.

Grade: C

Demon In Lace

Air Date: 2/7/75
Writer: Michael Kozoll, Stephen Lord, David Chase
Director: Don Weis
Story: Stephen Lord
Actors: 
Andrew Prine as Prof. C. Evan Spate / Jackie Vernon as Coach Toomey / Carolyn Jones as The Registrar / Keenan Wynn as Captain Joe "Mad Dog" Siska / Kristina Holland as Rosalind Winters / John Elerick as Mark Hansen / Maria Grimm as Maria Venegas / Margaret Impert as Betty Walker / Donald Mantooth as Tim Brennan / Ben Masters as Mike Thompson / Carlos Molina as Landlord / Milton Parson as Dr. Salem Mozart / Davis Roberts as Coroner / Steve Stafford as Craig Donnelly / Hunter Von Leer as Don Rhiner / Carmen Zapata as Spanish Woman / Teddie Blue as the Succubus / Iris Edwards as Marlene Franks

Memorable Line:
Vincenzo: "How is this 'Prince of Fiends' gonna fit into my new directive?" - Said after announcing that he wants up-lifting news.

Story:
A Succubus uses the bodies of recently deceased women, to steal the life force from young healthy men.

Review:
The idea of young men found dead, with women who had died hours before - is an intriguing setup. And it's all tied to an ancient tablet and an age-old succubus.

Regrettably, this twisted tale is bogged down by a wealth of guest stars who pop in and out far too quickly. There's a young college reporter who's eager to team up with Carl, and it seems at first that she will be an integral part of the story... but this relationship never amounts to much.

There's also Keenan Wynn's return as Siska. There again, another character who doesn't do a lot (he was so good in "Spanish Moss", that it's a major bummer when he's used only for a few annoying tantrums). The episode also brings in Andrew Prine as a snooty archaeologist... but best of all was Carolyn Jones (Addams Family) in a sparkling cameo as a registrar. Her comedic timing and playful banter with McGavin was so cute, that I wish the writers would have dumped a few of the other characters and made her Kolchaks main co-star in this caper.

Amid all this clutter are some great scenes in the newsroom. From Vincenzo's resolve to report happy news and the revelation that he was a drummer in a band called the Neapolitan's - to Miss Emily drawing ideas for her crossword puzzle, from Kolchak's gruesome research.

Not a bad episode and it features a creepy monster, but it could have been better had they tightened up the story considerably. And that ending? Oh boy - there's a laughably stupid fight with the succubus that looked as ridiculous as the headless rider in "Chopper".

Grade:  B-

Chopper

Air Date: 1/31/75
Writers: Robert Zemeckis, Bob Gale, Steve Fisher, David Chase
Director: Bruce Kessler
Story: Bob Gale, Robert Zemeckis
Actors: 
Art Metrano as Henry "Studs" Spake / Larry Linville as Captain Jonas / Jim Backus as Herb Bresson / Sharon Farrell as Lila Morton / Jay Robinson as Professor Eli Strig / Jesse White as First Watchman / Steve Franken as Neil, the Morgue Attendant / Fern Barry as Mrs. Rita Baker / Jimmy Joyce as George, Second Watchman / Joey Aresco as Electric Larry / Steve Boyum as Headless Rider (Harold "Swordsman" Baker) / Brunetta Barnett as Nurse / Jack Bernardi as Otto / Jim Malinda as Snow White / Jimmy Murphy as Beaner / Ralph Montgomery as Claude / Frank Aletter as Norman Kahill

Memorable Line:
Jonas: "Sure some biker has taken it into his head for some reason, to avenge Bakers death - now it's weird but, and probably drugged induced... and he has a costume!"

Kolchak: "There is no costume and he certainly hasn't taken it into his head, because there is no head!"

Story:
A headless rider hunts the members of a motorcycle gang.

Review:
This was the first story Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale (Back to the Future) sold to Hollywood, and they came up with a dilly. A modern take on the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Chopper has chills but doesn't take itself too seriously.

Humor is prevalent throughout. The exchanges between Tony & Carl are classic ("Come on, whip it on me, like the kids say") and Kolchak outsmarting the new Captain (Larry Linville) is a delight. Though I thought the scene at the viewing, with the biker gang, drug on too long.

The only real problem is in the headless rider itself. They placed a laughably big coat over the head of a stuntman. It looks silly as heck and it undercuts some of the eeriness. And there was a potential for high eeriness. The legend told by the curator about guillotine victims wandering the streets, searching for their heads; was a creepy accent.

Grade: A-